When I was about 19, I entered into a season of encounters with God. Multiple times a day, I would feel my spirit begin to separate itself from my body and lift. And, there was a moment when it felt as if two worlds were
Do you remember the children’s books that made the sparkly sound when you’d turn a new page? Well, it was kind of like that. When I felt suspended in that ‘in-between’ place where the two realms touched, I knew that my story was about to take another turn. So, I’d find
I remember feeling so
These encounters went on for a number of weeks, and then one day they stopped. I waited … and waited and prayed. I wept and sobbed. I must have asked 100 questions.
Did I do something wrong? Have I offended You? Did Your presence leave me?
Pretty sure I flooded the throne room that day with my weepy, emo supplication. And, just to be clear, though I jest, I believe all the prayers count. Even the immature, emo prayers. He hears those too. I finally had one of those breakthrough moments with the Holy Spirit that I’m sure some of you have had too, where He ever so gently nudges me to shut my big fat yapper, so He can actually ANSWER ME!
…yyyyeeeeeeeeeah.
I so deeply and truly longed for Him that I instantly gave myself to the sacred silence. I doubt you could have even heard me breathing, I was so still. I was waiting for Him to show me how to fix this, how to make things right again.
See, I thought maybe I had earned these encounters. Like maybe I had been good enough, and that’s why He was revealing Himself to me. So, when the encounters stopped, I immediately thought, “He must be angry with me?!”
And, in the silence of that holy moment, I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me what words could not. He was downloading an upgrade to my belief system, to my understanding of His ways. I knew then, that this was an invitation
Sometimes, love is sparkly. Sometimes, love’s like Ferris wheels and cotton candy. And sometimes, it just freaking sucks. It takes commitment to stay on the dance floor when you can’t hear the music. It’s hard work. Somedays you won’t feel it, and you won’t see it. Does that mean His presence has left? NO!!! Quite the contrary!
As we choose
Love isn’t fragile; in fact, it’s unbreakable. It’s not seasonal, and it isn’t only expressed one way. It’s beyond that Ferris wheel feeling. It’s sweeter than all the cotton candy in the world. The longer we walk The Way of Love, the more sure-footed we become. My relationship with God is no more sustained by that one sparkly season of
Deep love knows that every moment we’re alive is sacred. It’s all holy. The promise and the pain.
God loved us first. No doubt about that. It’s because He loved that we love, but He won’t force His hand or our hearts. Covenant requires the freedom of choice.
I wrote this song in the very center of my crucible. It’s about choosing love along the way, no matter what. It’s my covenant
I hope it inspires you to grow in God and find a deeper love than you ever imagined.
When we were young the road was easy
But time moves on, and people change
If we’re not falling, we’re not flying
You can’t have love without the pain
When I lose direction
When I can’t see the stars
If we get disconnected
I’ll sing my way back to your heart
I’ll sing my way back to your arms
There’s a garden in the ashes
There is beauty in the mess
If we embrace our imperfection
I know love will do the rest
When I lose direction
When I can’t see the stars
If we get disconnected
I’ll sing my way back to your heart
I’ll sing my way back to your arms
A million miles, a hundred lifetimes
I’d never find another you
I’ve found a diamond in the desert
Another story wouldn’t do
“Sing My Way Back” by Steffany Gretzinger:
Finding Heaven in Every Breath
